Late Night With Seth Meyers : KNTV : August 14, 2024 12:37am-1:37am PDT : Free Borrow & Streaming : Internet Archive (2024)

stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." goodnight, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪

[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- mia farrow and patti lupone, star of "industry," actress myha'la, author simon rich. featuring the 8g band with todd sucherman. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] and now, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." we hope you are doing well. and now if you don't mind, we're going to get to the news. according to cnn fact checkers, former president trump made at least 20 false claims during his interview last night with elon musk, starting with "it's great to be here." [ laughter ] elon musk interviewed former president trump live last night on x, and however crazy you think it was, it was crazier. [ laughter ] here's a taste. >> i said to vladimir putin, i said, "don't do it, you can't do it, vladimir. you do it, it is going to be a bad day. you cannot do it." and i told him things that what i do -- and he said, "no way."

and i said, "way." [ laughter ] >> seth: first of all, that didn't happen. second, was putin threatening to invade ukraine or put an ice cube down your shirt? [ light laughter ] "don't do it, vladimir." also, what's going on with his voice? he sounds like a sugared-up kid on halloween who won't take out his plastic vampire teeth. i know you don't want to be called weird, but you got to meet us halfway. "no way. i said, 'way.' [ laughter ] he said, 'no way.' i said, 'way.' [ laughter ] joe biden is too old. i'm very normal. [ laughter ] i talk like a kid. no way. way." [ laughter ] during his interview last night with elon musk, former president trump praised musk and said, quote, "we can talk about tunnels and rockets and electric cars, so many things.

and now you're into the a.i. and that's going to be another beauty." in fact, i think a.i. might have written that sentence. [ laughter ] white house press secretary karine jean-pierre announced yesterday that president biden will speak next week at the democratic national convention and will focus on the issues he cares about. so get ready to hear a lot about the new "deadpool." [ laughter ] "i'm being serious here. this guy's out of pocket." [ laughter ] the san diego zoo publicly debuted its new pandas last week, which are the first of its species to enter the u.s. in more than 20 years. but you can forgive them for being a little nervous. [ laughter ] [ applause ] you remember our alternative to the two major parties? bear guy. [ laughter ] dunkin' has begun offering a limited edition spiked pumpkin spiced ice latte which is 6% alcohol by volume. "big deal.

i've been making those for years," said teachers. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] authorities in the czech republic are searching for a kangaroo that escaped from a prison, and if you are wondering what a kangaroo is doing in prison, ten years for insurance fraud. [ laughter ] and finally, disney has announced it will add two lounge areas to disney world that will serve alcohol, including a "pirates of the caribbean" tavern. it will even feature johnny depp as captain jack sparrow even though disney didn't ask him. [ laughter ] and that was the monologue, everybody. we are off and running. [ cheers and applause ] we got a great show for you

tonight. you guys, we have two absolute legends who are starring together on broadway in "the roommate" starting -- starting, excuse me. all right. wally. wally, we're going to look at the cue card real quick. now, wally, if you had a big broadway show. >> yeah. >> seth: wouldn't you want the most important part of the date -- can we get a camera on wally real quick? [ light laughter ] >> yeah, i'm -- >> seth: you would want to know what -- the 29th of what month. you know? >> i'm guessing it's the 29th of every month they're going to be playing. [ laughter ] >> seth: so you think -- you think -- >> it's just the 29th. >> seth: you think they have a new play that opens the 29th? >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: of every month? >> yeah. >> seth: so obviously this is a show you can only do in a leap year? >> yeah, only on the 29th. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: september, we're going to assume september 29th?

starting september 29th, or august 29th. starting september 29th at the booth theater, mia farrow. mia farrow and patti lupone will be here. [ cheers and applause ] she is one of the stars of the critically-acclaimed hbo series "industry." myha'la will be joining us, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] i'm so happy she is here. and he is a brilliant writer and a dear friend i know from our "snl" days together who also created "miracle workers" and "man seeking woman." his latest book, "glory days: stories," is out now. simon rich is back on the show. [ cheers and applause ] also you could listen. simon rich also joined my brother and i on "family trips with the meyers brothers." you can listen to that. it is a fantastic conversation. moving on. you guys, we hear at "late night" don't always have enough time to cover all of the recent news. so here with the recap is one of our writers, amber ruffin, in a segment we call "amber says what?" [ cheers and applause ] ♪

>> you guys. things have been crazy. okay. first of all, the whole olympics had me like, "what?" in the opening ceremony there was a horse galloping on water and i was like, "whaat?" then, there was this beautiful "last supper" scene and i was like, "what?" [ light laughter ] then the vatican got mad, and i was like, "what -- [ laughter ] -- did the vatican get mad about?" was it one of the terrible things they've done? was it the fact that the pope had said more slurs recently than a stand-up comic from the '80s? [ light laughter ] was it the fact that they preach about helping the poor but the pope has a golden bathtub? they better shut up. i saw "spotlight." [ laughter ] then our women's gymnastics team took home the gold and i was like "what!" then -- [ cheers and applause ] [ bleep ] yeah. then sha'carri richardson took home the silver and i was like, "what!" [ light laughter ] then everyone was talking about simone biles and all of her

gymnastics moves she has named after herself, and i was like, "what?" i have a gymnastics move, too. it's called "the ruffin." it's when you sit down and hear 376different joints pop. let me show you. [ crackling ] [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] then everyone was talking about how french pole vaulter anthony ammirati lost and i was like, "what?" then i found out why. his dong knocked down the bar. [ laughter ] >> pole vault for anthony ammirati of france. [ audience oohs ] [ laughter ] >> i was like, "what!?" did you wish to be well-endowed on a monkey's paw? [ laughter ] if that's what you're packing, why even take part in the olympics? what could you possibly have left to prove? [ laughter ] incidentally, dong is also the noise it made when it knocked down the bar.

>> pole vault for anthony ammirati of france. [ bell ringing ] [ laughter ] anthony, baby, you may have lost the olympics, but you also kind of won the olympics. [ laughter ] then sha'carri richardson did the coldest thing ever. when she was leaving a woman in the dust, she shot her this look. [ laughter ] [ audience oohs ] i was like, "what!!" the next time someone gets on my nerves i'mma hit 'em with the -- [ crackling ] oh, my god, i popped a joint on an eye roll? i'm not well. then i heard that breakdancing was going to be an olympic sport and i was like, "what what! " then i realized there might be a vibe of white people cosplaying as black people. [ light laughter ] and i was right because "wha-ha-ha-hat?" why is this child wearing a durag? to protect her fade? man, when she takes that thing off she better have perfect waves. [ laughter ]

wait, how is her name pronounced? is it nicka? as in "nicka, please take off that durag?" [ laughter and applause ] guys, no, it's not pronounced like that and that's the only reason i have let her live. and then i saw the funniest thing i have ever seen in my life. an australian woman showed up to the olympics and did this. ♪ ♪ >> here we go. raygun. >> i was like "what in the 'three stooges' is that?" you're dancing like you never saw breakdancing before and like someone told you what it is in a language you do not speak. [ light laughter ] she's the opposite of "the jamaican bobsled" team. has she even ever seen a -- has she ever had a breakdancing coach? because i feel like if she did, as she pulled this [ bleep ], he

would be like -- [ whistle blows ] "take a lap." and then she'd take a lap like this. [ laughter ] y'all, i'm saying a foreign white girl hasn't embarrassed herself this hard in paris since emily. [ laughter ] just something to say. i love that show. i watch every episode. i'm excited. it comes out soon. i'm ready to go. then two astronauts were supposed to go to space for a week but they'll end up there until next year because of a broken capsule made by boeing. and i was like, "what is boeing's problem?" first your planes all falling apart and now it's your space ships. is there anything that you guys make that stays together? [ laughter ] [ thud ] [ laughter ] wait a second. who made this stool? boeing! [ laughter ] stop making stuff. you're bad at it!

then researchers were studying something called the org*sm gap where they believe straight women have fewer org*sms than their male partners and i was like, "what in the non-news is this?" [ laughter ] also breaking, the sky is blue and water is wet. [ light laughter ] but straight women aren't. [ laughter ] [ whistle blows ] you right. [ laughter ] just a quick lap. [ crackling ] [ cheers and applause ] i forgot about my joints. it scared me a little bit. [ laughter ] then j.d. vance called adults who don't have children sociopaths and i was like, "what?" just kidding. i felt nothing. for i am a childless sociopath.

i am an ageless sociopath with unlimited free time and disposable income. besides, it would be irresponsible for me to have babies because you know that that breast milk is 90% margarita. [ light laughter ] aw, how cute would a little drunk baby be though? >> seth: yeah, you should definitely not have any kids. >> yeah, you right. then i heard that many times in private trump called kamala harris a bitch, and i was like "wha? wha?" of course he did! and if you think that's the worst thing he called her, you probably also think you can breakdance. [ laughter ] then governor tim walz called republicans weird and everyone was like, "they are weird." and republicans hated it, so kamala harris made him her running mate and i was like, "whaa-aat?!" [ cheers and applause ] right there, right there, i beat

her at breakdancing. what a petty thing to do! now she has a vice president from minnesota, which is a coincidence because this show has always had a vice president from minnesota. his name is john lutz. he has written for this show for over 10 years and he was literally born in pipestone, minnesota, and he brings that great midwestern energy. and he is going to join me now for a new segment called, "lutz says gee whiz." [ laughter ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> you guys, things have been crazy! r.f.k. jr. admitted that in 2014, he found a dead bear cub on the highway and he put it in his car to skin it and eat it, but then he remembered he had a& reservation at peter luger's. so instead he drove the dead cub body to central park and left it there. i saw that and i was like -- >> gee whiz. [ laughter ] >> this has been "lutz says gee whiz." ♪

[ cheers and applause ] and then i heard lauryn hill called off the fugees tour just days before it was supposed to start, and i was like, "what did you expect?" [ light laughter ] do you know what lauryn hill is doing in august? showing up to where she was supposed to be in july. [ laughter ] you buy tickets to a lauryn hill concert and that [ bleep ] going to be like "the amber ruffin show," quietly and unceremoniously cancelled. [ laughter ] [ audience aws ] oh. [ whistle blows ] [ laughter ] you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. [ laughter and applause ] you're right. the reason i talk trash about lauryn hill is because i love her. years ago a young, bright-eyed amber bought tickets to see lauryn hill in concert, and when amber arrived the show had been cancelled.

she vowed then and there that she would never again do that thing. ♪ that thing that thing ♪ you guys -- [ cheers and applause ] [ crackling ] this has been "amber says what." ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: amber ruffin, could this be menopause? clearblue menopause stage indicator

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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: give it up for the fantastic 8g band, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] back with us tonight on drums, he's an in-demand drumming virtuoso currently playing with rock legends styx. they are on tour in support of their latest record "crash of the crown." follow him on instagram for more information. todd sucherman is here. thank you so much for being back with us. >> thank you, seth. thank you. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: our first guests tonight are two hollywood legends who are starring together in "the roommate." performances begin on august -- august 29th. [ laughter ] at the booth theater on broadway. please welcome to the show, mia farrow and patti lupone. ♪ [ cheers and applause >> seth: welcome, you two.

>> hello. >> seth: i am so delighted to be with you both. >> we love you! [ laughter ] >> seth: oh, i feel the same. now, you two have known each other for years. >> yes. >> seth: who -- how did you first meet? >> steve. >> steve sondheim. >> yes. >> seth: what a great person to introduce you. stephen sondheim. >> yeah. >> seth: did he feel like he knew something about the two of you, that you would get along? >> it wasn't as formalized as that. we -- we went to a party at patti's house. was that the first time? >> it was the new year's eve party. >> the new year's eve party? >> yeah. i wish i had brought that picture. >> we're going 30 years ago. >> seth: okay. >> and i went with steve, steve's date, and it was patti's home. she and her husband. i think -- was your baby even born them? >> josh? >> yeah. >> josh, he was probably asleep. >> i bet you throw a good new year's eve party, patti. >> excellent. >> it was. [ light laughter ] >> it was most excellent. >> it was pretty good. >> and then patti was coming to my house. >> full moon party. >> i gave full moon parties. >> full moon parties. >> seth: oh, you give full moon parties? >> i did. >> seth: okay. gotcha. >> yeah. >> seth: that's very exciting. >> so i had a large pond in the back of my house, so one could say a lake even.

>> seth: okay. [ laughter ] it is that way. if you ever list it on zillow, say it's a lake. [ laughter ] >> there's a lake. >> seven acres, i don't know if that's a lake. >> that's a lake. >> seth: that's a lake, yeah. [ laughter ] >> yeah, and, so we would wait and we would have torches, and there would be food out and stuff. and then when the moon rose over the trees beyond the other side, it would hit the lake and there would be a blast of silver. candles would be blown out. you and steve paddling the canoe out beyond. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> and we -- it was just every month. i did it in the summer on the full moon. >> seth: by the way, this sounds better than any party i've ever been to in my life. >> oh, it was great. >> it was. [ light laughter ] it was great. >> it was magical because there were fireflies. it was the summer's humidity. you know, it was just beautiful. it was just -- you are outside. it is just -- you know, summer is a great time where we live. >> seth: yes. very -- this is fantastic.

and now this play, "the roommate." it's just the two of you on stage? >> yes. >> seth: so you're relying on this years-long chemistry. tell us about the play, and tell us about how rehearsals are going. >> rehearsals are long and exhausting. [ light laughter ] as rehearsals will be. we have the wonderful jack o'brien who is directing us. >> seth: a fantastic director. >> and we're discovering the play. and actually we thought that it would be easier for us because we are friends. and it turns out it might work a little bit to our disadvantage because we're too familiar with each other on stage. we're too sympathetic to each other on stage. and jack gave us that note that -- >> today. >> yeah, but we can still -- still love each other, and be able play these parts. >> how do you -- hard with somebody i absolutely adore? >> seth: well, i guess that's the thing. he's has to remind you your characters don't like each other as much as you like each other. >> we're getting to know each other in the play. >> yes. >> seth: you had an actual

roommate of note recently. aubrey plaza, who is one of our favorites. >> yeah. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: so aubrey moved in -- stayed with you? >> yeah. >> well, when we were shooting "agatha," she said she had been offered a play in new york at the lucille hotel downtown, and i went, "oh! oh." and i thought, she had never been on stage before, and i thought, "well, uh, it is a shocking experience." >> she's in for a journey. >> yes, exactly. and so i just said, "why don't you just stay with me for a while, so that you can -- i can be there when you're shocked out of your gourd about what's happening?" and so she did. and i took care of her. >> you made soup for her. >> it's true. i made soup. it's true. i did her laundry. [ audience aws ] >> seth: so this is you, like, relied on your years of broadway experience to say, "come home to me after you're on stage, and i will make everything good." >> yeah, because she was shocked a lot. [ laughter ] >> seth: well, it's ver -- i mean it's grueling, and you were

saying backstage you only have three weeks of rehearsal for this play. >> yeah. >> seth: and with only two people on stage, obviously this is a lot to learn. >> and you should've seen patti, who has been on stage her whole life, said she's never had a three week rehearsal. >> yeah. >> money is tight now and stuff. >> seth: yeah. it is tight all -- it is bad all over, you guys. >> yeah. >> so, they wouldn't give us five weeks, or even four. >> seth: you keep talking like this, they're going to be like, "i saw you on 'seth.' you only get two." [ laughter ] returning to broadway, obviously -- i mean, again, you familiarize yourself with it, but it's never easy. do you have memories -- one of my favorite things to ask is worst audience memories over the course of being on stage? >> yeah, i've got several. [ laughter ] >> but actually my favorite was -- >> oh, there's two, but this is a two-part story. >> seth: okay. >> so i was doing "master class," i replaced zoe caldwell. and i'm -- it's the end of the first act, and the aria -- "la sonnambula" is playing, or is it -- yeah, and i'm speaking about ari in the greek accent, and i see someone house left on

the aisle get up and go up the aisle and in -- while i'm speaking in the greek accent, the mind says, "well, i lost one." [ light laughter ] he turned around, he came down the center aisle screaming, "this is [ bleep ]. this is [ bleep ]. [ bleep ], you terrance mcnally." [ laughter ] [ audience oohs ] and while i'm in the greek accent i went, "don't shoot the messenger." [ laughter ] and then he turned around and he went up the aisle, and i think the audience thought that was part of the show. cut two. and we're all going, "what the [ bleep ] just happened." and then in london, the same play, somebody in the gods, they call the balcony the gods over there. it's the same act and i'm telling the soprano how to perform, how to act "la sonnambula" and this guy in the gods goes, "sing it properly. sing it properly." i went, "this is the 'master class,' and if you don't like it you can leave!" and then i hear -- [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> don't mess with patti. >> but i hear an american voice go, "if you don't shut up, i'm

going to strangle you." [ light laughter ] cut to the bobbies came, they took the guy to the police station. the next day, we come to the theater, we find out that lenny foglia, the director, is the american voice, and the guy was wanted for murder. >> seth: really? [ audience oohs ] >> but he had to see maria callis. [ laughter ] >> seth: i like -- i mean, by the way, that's a great way to advertise a show. it is so good even if you're on the lam. [ laughter ] but is it true, mia -- and i'm sorry to bring up what could be a difficult memory. is it true that you've twice been on stage and someone in the audience -- >> yes. heart attack. i don't know if they actually died. >> seth: okay. >> but it happens. >> seth: wow. >> wow. >> seth: do you think that's how good you were? >> ha! [ laughter ] i don't mean to laugh. >> oh, yes. what else? [ laughter ] >> seth: you have to sign a release to see mia on stage. [ applause ] this is so exciting. august 29th. and what a delight it is to just be with both of you.

i cannot wait to see you on stage together. >> and you too, seth. >> seth: oh, my goodness. >> we adore you, adore you. >> seth: this has been -- >> don't we adore him? [ cheering and applause ] >> yeah, yeah, yeah! >> seth: these too, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] there they are. mia farrow, patti lupone. "the roommate" begins august 29th at the booth theater. we will be right back with myha'la. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪limu emu♪ ♪& doug.♪ and if we win, we get to tell you how liberty mutual customizes car insurance so you only pay for what you need. isn't that what you just did? service! ♪stand back i'm going to show ya,♪ ♪how doug and limu roll, yeah!♪ ♪♪ ♪you know you got to live it,♪ ♪♪ ♪if you want to win...♪ [bump] time out! only pay for what you need. ♪liberty, liberty,♪ ♪liberty, liberty.♪

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peer point don't provide live prices for their oil in that gas graph's for juniors. so, he was always pricing 15 minutes behind us. >> seth: please welcome to the show myha'la, everybody. [ cheering and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: oh, my god, welcome to the show! [ cheers and applause ] i'm so happy you're here. >> i'm so happy to be here. i'm so happy to be here. [ laughter ] >> seth: we're so happy to have you. congratulations on the show. >> thank you. >> seth: i want to start by saying this show has garnered a lot of acclaim, people really like it, but you received something even better out of the show. you met your fiance because of this show. >> i did. [ audience awws ] >> seth: everybody is saying aw, but the story does get a little creepy. [ laughter ] explain how it happened.

>> okay. so, season one came out. it's deep covid, 2020, and, of course, i'm alone. and everyone is like, "oh, my god, are you having so much fun? the show is coming out." i'm like, "yeah." i'm literally alone. so, of course i'm going through my requests and there's some great things, some congratulations, some like feet pics, requests, some weird stuff. >> seth: yeah, i apologize. i should never have done that. >> it's okay. [ laughter ] i'm sorry for outing you. >> seth: that's okay. >> and there's one that just said, "congrats on the show. i'm a huge fan, i wish you all the success in the world" or something like that. and i said thank you. and then, the next day i woke up to a string of video messages. and i was like, "ugh." like, it's going to be something weird. so, i looked at the profile and i was like, "oh! he's kind of cute. i guess i'll watch it." and it was my fiance, my now-fiance. and he was like, "hey, myha'la, it's armando. i just wanted to say how cool it was --" he's videoing himself. "it was so cool that you responded. while i have you if you don't mind, could i do an interview with you for a class project?" and i was like, "who has the

balls to send a video message to a stranger?" [ light laughter ] like i would never do that. so then, of course, i was like, "yeah, yeah, of course i will." the next day, we hopped on a zoom and we were meant to be on for five, 10 minutes. 40 minutes goes by and he finishes -- he like stops the recording. and i was like, "so, where are you from?" [ laughter ] >> seth: you turned the tables. >> i did. >> seth: you turned the tables. >> embarrassing, but then anyway, we hop off and i was like, "oh, i'm in love with a stranger, how weird." a few days passed and i was like, "so did you get an a on your project?" [ laughter ] and he responded, and then we were messaging back and forth for three weeks, i think, before he asked for my phone number. then we were doing the very covid-esque face time dates. >> seth: very cute. >> a month later, i went to visit my mother in california and he was going to school not very far from there. so, i said, "hey, do you want to meet in person?" and he said, "yes." so, i brought a bottle of wine and some hand sanitizer because

it was covid. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> i said, "well, you know, my mom is high risk so we can't, you know, like be close or anything but we can hand sanitize and hold hands." [ audience awws ] i know, crazy. [ laughter ] so, we did and do you know in the "avatar" movies when the avatars, like, connect their brains and they mate for life? >> seth: uh, yeah. [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah. so that's literally what happened to us. >> seth: oh, my god! >> yeah. >> seth: just on the first hand hold? >> literally it was like -- okay. take my hand. >> seth: okay. >> we went like this. "oh, my god!" >> seth: oh, my god. >> it was crazy. [ laughter ] and 3 1/2 years later, he proposed and now we're going to get married. >> seth: unbelievable. [ cheering and applause ] >> seth: one thing. i feel like just -- we should let most people who are watching this know, it doesn't always work like this. [ laughter ] >> yeah, probably. >> seth: when you dm a celebrity a video message, it doesn't always end in like a na'vi connection. >> probably. [ laughter ] >> seth: but now i met your fiance backstage. >> yes, his name is armando.

>> seth: armando. he was wearing a shirt with you -- it was this shirt. >> yeah. >> seth: so, this is a shirt, a you shirt. [ laughter ] >> yeah. >> seth: and he -- now, explain, does this -- did you give him this as a gift? >> i did. it was meant to be -- so we'd been talking about getting engaged for a little while. >> seth: yeah. >> so, we knew it was going to happen. we already had our rings. and i wanted to give him something because he was going to give me something so i ordered this shirt. a friend of mine years ago was like, "bro, look at this thing i found on etsy" and sent me the link to this shirt. >> seth: uh-huh. >> i didn't make the shirt. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] >> and so, i thought, "oh, i'm going to get him this shirt for the engagement." and i ordered it to the house while i was away. and a few days later, he texted me, he was like, "bro, i love my shirt." i was like, "you opened my mail?" [ laughter ] "that was supposed to be your gift." and he was like, "i love it." so then on the day he proposed, he wore the shirt. >> seth: so, on the proposal day he wore that shirt? >> yeah. [ laughter ] >> seth: and it's really special. like -- by the way, it is -- the great thing about the two of you is it is obviously like a real genuine love story. >> yeah.

>> seth: and yet out of context everything you guys do is really strange. [ laughter ] >> yeah, yeah. you're right. [ laughter ] >> seth: you know how it's like -- when a guy gets a girl a ring and she gets him a shirt with her face all over it. [ laughter ] >> it's equal. it's equal in value. >> seth: it's equal. >> okay. >> seth: congratulations on "industry" season three. this is a show, a lot of deep financial jargon. >> yes. >> seth: you do a great job delivering it. >> thank you. >> seth: do you understand it? >> no. >> seth: okay. [ laughter ] >> not even a little bit. >> seth: can i just say what an exceptional actor you are then? >> thank you. >> seth: because i watch it -- [ cheering and applause ] you've done the -- you make me understand it and yet you're telling me you have no comprehension for it. >> that's so good. i mean i'm doing my job. >> seth: yeah. >> and, honestly, like i tried. like the first season i was like, "all right. i'm going google this stuff and try to figure it out." and after, like, day two i was like, "yeah, it's just not gonna happen." [ laughter ] it is not going to happen. i'm an actor and that's okay. so, i just said mickey conrad and to our financial advisers

who are on the show, "is this good or is it bad?" >> seth: yeah. >> and then based on what they tell me, i do some acting. [ laughter ] >> seth: interesting. so, they say, "we're going to give you words you don't understand about finance." and let me stress i also don't understand finance. >> cool, okay. >> seth: and they just go, "but this is a bad thing about finance." >> yeah. they're like, "good, good, good, good, good, bad, bad, bad, bad." like that. [ laughter ] they stand behind the camera while i'm doing my acting. and i'm like, "is it good? it's good?" and then, they're like, "no, it's bad. bad finance!" [ laughter ] that's all. >> seth: this is a master class in acting. >> thank you. [ laughter ] >> seth: that's fantastic. as the show -- i feel like it is one of those shows, you know, we live in this era where people -- you know, season two comes out and everybody is talking about it. so, people go back and watch season one, and now with season three i think people are gonna watch it back. do you feel the difference in the street? are people talking to you more about it? >> yeah, i mean in the street, on the street, off the street. i'm like so overwhelmed by the response this time. because we did, we came out in covid and it was very much like

the show's premiered. crickets. like -- >> seth: yeah. >> it was -- it was kind of hard because we were like, we put so much into this, we hoped that people would watch it. whatever. season two happens, a little more people are watching it in our industry, in the entertainment industry. >> seth: yeah, right. >> people seem to really like it. in the finance industry, people really like it. and now coming around on the third season, it feels like we're kind of getting our flowers after five years. and more than anything, like i'm just so grateful that it feels like people are as excited about it as i am. >> seth: it's really wonderful. >> thank you. >> seth: you know, the only thing that makes me sad is people who are just starting it now and they're watching it and they're like, "i should dm her," and it's like too late. >> yeah. [ laughter ] ship has sailed. >> seth: too late. you know what? watch season one when it premieres, that's the lesson here. >> that's the lesson. >> seth: that's the lesson. congratulations to you two. >> thank you. >> seth: and congratulations on the show. myha'la, everybody. the third season of "industry" airs sundays at 9:00 on hbo and max. we'll be right back with simon rich. [ cheers and applause ] ♪

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[ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: our next guest has written for "saturday night live," pixar, "the simpsons" and is the creator of the shows "miracle workers" and "man seeking woman." he's also a recipient of the thurber prize for american humor. his latest book "glory days: stories" is on sale now. please welcome back to the show my very good friend simon rich, everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> seth: welcome back! >> thank you. thanks for having me. >> seth: i'm so happy you're here. our good friend john mulaney was here yesterday. >> yes. >> seth: and you and he were just at the olympics together. >> that's true. >> seth: you were dates to the olympics. >> that's right. i was not competing. >> seth: yes. thank you for clarifying for the audience. >> although -- >> seth: as you walked out they were like, "i bet." [ light laughter ] >> not this time. still maybe l.a., we'll see. >> seth: yeah.

>> yeah, i was just tagging along, and the amount of pressure the athletes are under is so intense, it really put writing for "snl" into perspective. >> seth: yeah. >> because we would always complain, you know, how nerve wracking it was to sit under the bleachers, next to lorne michaels while our sketch was happening. but lorne was never like, "go out there and do a back flip." >> seth: yeah. [ light laughter ] >> yeah, go swim in a cholera-infected river. >> seth: but as fast as you can. >> yes, at world-record pace. >> seth: your girls are seven and three? >> three and three, uh-huh. >> seth: and you recently -- they thought they recognized you. >> yes. so the thing i love about kids is they -- they have no biases. they have no -- no sense of the world other than objective reality. and an example of this is my younger kid when she was two, she looked at a tee shirt in a mall and said, "daddy, you're on a shirt." so we could see --

>> seth: that was the picture on a shirt. [ laughter ] >> so like you, seth, would not know that i look like this because you've been warped by society. >> seth: oh. [ laughter ] >> and like media lies. so then -- and then six months passed and she was flipping through this book i have about hollywood, and she said, "daddy, you're in this book." i was kind of like, oh, is it going to be, you know, "predator" era, "terminator 2," we'll see. and it was -- yeah. [ laughter ] so i'm not offended, by the way. i think if we could freeze it here, it would be great, but i'm worried about the trajectory. [ laughter ] >> seth: so you would take -- you would definitely -- you would walk away from the table with your winnings? you'd be like, "i'm good." >> absolutely, great. >> seth: yes. >> yeah, absolutely. but yeah. >> seth: you're right. if these are the first two data

points, i'm terrified. [ light laughter ] >> that -- that's six months. >> seth: six months, that's six months of her -- >> yeah. >> seth: of society poisoning her mind. >> that's right. >> seth: a fantastic book. >> thank you. >> seth: they all are. simon, you know you're one of my favorite writers. >> thank you. >> seth: "glory days." what brought you to that title? >> well, the book is sort of a bunch of short stories about perennial winners who have begun to lose. so, like for example, there's a short story in there from the perspective of super mario. >> seth: yes. >> if you do the math, that game was introduced in the mid '80s, so he's turning 40 right now. >> seth: uh-huh. >> he is just confronting a major, major mid life crisis. he's got, as you can imagine, horrific back problems. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> just from decades of just running at full speed and smashing bricks with his face and with his head, and he also has money issues. >> seth: yeah. >> which is surprising because he collected entire screens

worth of coins. >> seth: yeah. >> golden coins, but then he made the mistake of letting his friend yoshi manage his money. [ light laughter ] so there's very little left. so it is a lot of stories just about characters, yeah. >> seth: can i just read. >> yeah. >> seth: because i love -- i have always loved this about you. you find a very simple idea, mario is old, and then there's 1,000 great jokes that i wouldn't have thought of, given that premise. and then this is extra fun because you get to write as mario. >> yes. >> seth: and this is really harrowing and this is sad. >> yeah. >> seth: and so don't laugh because mario is in a tough place. [ laughter ] "and i'ma not doing so great." [ laughter ] >> seth: "these days my life, it'sa [ bleep ]-a." [ laughter ] >> yes. >> seth: i was so -- i read that, i was so happy. i'm like, oh, my god, simon. once simon realized how many uhs he could put into this. >> you're correct. that is the only reason that i wrote it. and then he has to have spinal

surgery. >> seth: yes. >> and he learns this devastating, life-altering news from, who else, but dr. mario. no relation. >> seth: no relation. >> and dr. mario also speaks like mario, so -- >> seth: he also turns out he has issues with his father. >> yes. >> seth: for naming his mario. >> yes. so his full name is mario mario. >> seth: yeah. >> but in mid life he is able to forgive his dad because, as he points out, he had a serious problem with drinking which explains the name. >> seth: yeah. >> it was like a red-wine-for breakfast kind of dude. >> seth: yeah, mario's dad. >> yeah. >> seth: we never think about mario's dad. >> no. >> seth: what about, you write from the perspective of goliath. >> yes, i wrote a story in there called "goliath" which is the david and goliath but we are with goliath the whole time. and he has spent his entire life on a winning streak. >> seth: yeah. >> he's got this one move that he does where he rips people's spines out of their body in a single motion. >> seth: yeah. >> and it is like really hard to defend against so he's sort of

coasted. and then all of a sudden he finds himself in competition with david, who is the world's first underdog. >> seth: yeah. >> and basically like a young justin bieber. >> seth: yeah. [ laughter ] >> where everyone is just like, "wow, this guy is awesome, i hope he wins." even god is on david's side. >> seth: yeah. >> and goliath is just trying to keep his kid in private school. [ laughter ] >> and so, you know, goliath in the context of this story, you might say goliath is sort of the underdog. >> seth: a very unique take from you. >> yeah. >> seth: as we've come to expect. also an audio book. >> yes. >> seth: now, a lot of people read their own books. >> yes. i have been told that i should not do that. >> seth: okay. [ light laughter ] >> but, fortunately for me and for the reading public, our friend john mulaney reads the audio. >> seth: so john mulaney doing the audio book. >> yes. >> seth: i can't wait to listen. but, man, i just love reading the way you write and sitting with this book is the joy that

it always is. and i'm so happy you are here. thank you so much, simon. >> thank you. thank you for having me. [ cheers and applause ] >> seth: "glory days: stories" available now. and check out our episode of "family trips" with simon wherever you get podcasts. we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ (♪♪) [water spraying] this is ludicrous. ludicrous! alright, who called for ludacris? sorry, we meant this is ludicrous. oh you don't tell ludacris what's ludicrous, ludacris tells you what's ludicrous. okay. [faucet further breaks] oh, that is ludicrous. you don't need me for this, hang on. ♪like a good neighbor, state farm is there.♪ good thing you have state farm. just file a claim on the app, or call us. guess i can go. don't you mean roll out? no i don't. like a good neighbor, state farm is there.

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Actresses Mia Farrow and Patti LuPone ("The Roommate"); actress Myha'la; humorist Simon Rich; Todd Sucherman sits in with the 8G Band.

Notes

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